


Snowed In

by Nadin



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Iron Man 2, Pepperony - Freeform, mature content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-02 03:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4044751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadin/pseuds/Nadin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Pepper whispered.</p><p>Tony and Pepper end up sharing a room in an overbooked hotel during a snow storm. Takes place in the middle of Iron Man 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so the story starts after Tony brings Pepper strawberries in Iron Man 2. She then leaves for Montana (instead of going to New York like in the film) and Tony tags along with her (instead of talking Howard's Stark Expo diorama home and rediscovering the hidden element) in an attempt to fix their relationship. Also, because he's Tony.  
>   
> Timeline-wise, he's still dying and she's still pissed at him for his birthday stunts.  
>   
> (I am having so much fun with this one it's crazy :))

_Without you I would fall apart,_  
_I'm safe when I am in your arms._  
_And only you can set me free,_  
_And only you can save me..._

_"Only You Can Save Me" - Darin_

The day couldn’t have gone any worse.

Well, actually Pepper could imagine about a thousand different ways for it to fall apart even more, but most of them would qualify as the end of the world at this point.

It all started innocently enough, sort of, with one of the members of the Stark Industries Board of Directors having a family emergency and cancelling his visit to the ski and spa resort in the middle of nowhere, Montana. The very one who came up with the idea to meet in the middle of nowhere, Montana, in the first place – to discuss the investments and probably break his leg in at least 4 places while braving the steep slopes. Nothing out of the ordinary, truth be told, although Pepper should’ve seen a much bigger disaster coming.

Actually, she should’ve probably guessed this day would be a nightmare when her alarm didn’t go off in the morning. Or maybe when she spilled scalding-hot coffee on her favourite blouse because she was too busy trying to fix her hair and find her pumps at the same time. Or when she broke her favourite coffee mug about 10 seconds after the blouse catastrophe.

Or when Tony showed up at her office with the strawberries and decided to join her on the trip - on a whim, obviously – despite the fact that he hated this kind of meetings claiming they were putting him to sleep faster than whiskey and Nyquil (she honesty didn’t want to even imagine). _It is still my company, you know. … Why would I need a luggage? Please!_

Or when she sent her resume to Stark Industries 11 years ago.

Just her luck!

Strangely enough, their plane didn’t crash somewhere in Yellowstone, even though she wouldn’t be surprised if it did. She even wasn’t late. Not by Tony’s standards anyway. It was not, however, a break she so desperately needed, but merely a calm before the storm.

The problems started piling up soon after they landed. As it turned out, without the unavailable Board member whose presence apparently was critical, seeing as how he initiated the event, it had to be postponed altogether. As if the Stark Expo wasn’t enough of a headache to deal with, she thought. And having Tony around did not help the matters, not the slightest bit, what with the tension between them being too palpable for comfort.

She hoped – desperately so – that this was it for the day. Several hours of wasted time and an extremely grumpy company were not the end of everything.

And boy, was she wrong!

First, their pilot announced a technical problem with the jet that made the immediate departure for New York impossible. And when this was out the way, it started to snow. Naturally. Montana in December was painfully predictable, no surprise here. Normally, it wouldn’t have been a problem in the long run, but then the snow turned into a blizzard, which made it impossible and extremely unsafe to take off until the it ended or at the very least died down. Needless to say, the weather forecast wasn’t particularly promising.

By the time this news came around, Pepper’s headache had a headache.

And this was how she and Tony ended up stuck in an overbooked hotel in the mountains, miles away from any other kind of civilization for God only knew how long.

“It usually ends within 12 hours or so,” a very enthusiastic receptionist, whose nametag read Melody, told her as the wind howled outside, sounding like something from a horror movie. “Sometimes less. Although last week it lasted for a few days. But maybe not this time.” And then she smiled.

It would’ve been very unprofessional to groan and drop her head on the marble counter and maybe cry for a week, so Pepper just nodded and promptly ignored Tony who was all but dancing impatiently next to her, practically beaming at the said receptionist who, by the way, also didn’t miss a chance to demonstrate her perfectly white teeth to him. Ironically, it also turned out being the first time in his life when his platinum card couldn’t solve their problems at a snap of his fingers – friendly as the staff was (some more than the others even), they were not going to kick anyone out of their rooms to accommodate the two of them for the night.

Well, with the exception of this one option…

“Are you sure they have onlyone room left?” Tony asked, following her and her neat little suitcase down the corridor and turning his head left and right, checking the plates on the doors in search of the room 1575.

“I could ask again, in case they got it wrong the first seven times.”

“And this is the only hotel in the entire state of Montana, obviously.”

“If you decide to walk 20 miles to the nearest town and see what they have to offer, I promise not to stop you.” _Or if you choose to bunk over with someone_ , she added in her mind, wincing inwardly at the idea that wasn’t entirely improbable.  

They stopped before their designated room, and Pepper turned to him. This day already felt like a 15-year long nightmare that started sometime last night at Tony’s birthday party and she honestly had no energy left for him and his issues and petulant behaviour. Not tonight.  

“We could take a cab,” he shrugged.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, counting to five before responding to him. “Not until the roads are cleared.” And as an afterthought, “Please don’t destroy this place just because they don’t play by your rules.”

Tony ignored her comment entirely and narrowed his eyes. “Didn’t think you’d be okay with… this arrangement. Who are you and what have you done with Pepper?”

She leveled him with a _look,_ trying not to noticethe flutter of her heart when the reality of what was going on finally settled in. “I’m not okay with anything, Tony, trust me. But I am more okay with that than with sleeping in a lobby.” Although she wasn’t quite sure she chose the lesser of two evils.

She inserted the key card into the slot and pushed the door open. Blindly, she reached for the light switch and flipped it up.

Behind her, Tony whistled quietly, peeking inside over her shoulder.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Pepper whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh, sorry it took forever! Thanks for your wonderful comments, folks, and for you patience!
> 
> Dig in! ;)

A honeymoon suite.

Of course, they got a honeymoon suite.

The last available room usually meant either a honeymoon suite, or a broom closet, and quite frankly, Pepper would’ve undoubtedly preferred a broom closet at this point.  

For one thing, the room was huge. If anything, it seemed to be bigger than her entire apartment in Malibu. Hell, she could probably fit her garage in there as well. But what actually made her jaw drop – and literary so – was the bed that took almost half the space and looked more like a landing stripe than a piece of furniture, all things considered. It had an embroidered comforter and heart-shaped chocolates on the pillows, and seriously, were they using it for the helicopter landings or something? Who needed a bed this size, anyway?! Why couldn’t people sleep in normal sized beds, for Christ’s sake? What a waste of… furniture parts. And space.

There also was a fireplace, a loveseat (who of Earth gave it that name?), and at least a million candles on every flat surface around them. Heavy drapes were falling over the glass doors leading to an expansive patio – currently useless and covered with at least two feet of snow.

And on top of that, there was a bottle of champagne chilling in the bucket on the nightstand and lilies on the table by the window.  

It looked like her worst nightmare.

“I had a dream like this once,” Tony squeezed past her into the room and gave it an appreciative once-over. “You were there, and –”

“Did you do this?” Pepper pulled her suitcase in.

“Asked for it? No. Hoped for it? Yeah, maybe a little.” He picked up the champagne from the bucket and read the label. “Good stuff. You know, it actually starts feeling like a vacation.”

“We’re not on vacation, Tony.” She shut the door, trying not to think of how claustrophobic she felt by the second, even despite the acres of space around her. They could probably just wander off in different directions and get lost in no time.

That goddamed bed, however…

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

She looked up, startled. Whatever it was-- “Most definitely not.”

“Aw, come on, admit it – you’re also wondering who the hell would want to spend their honeymoon in Montana.” Tony hemmed. “You know what your problem is, Pepper? You don’t know how to relax.”

He flopped down onto the bed and bounced on the mattress for a few moments, looking ridiculously excited about the whole thing, before wiggling his eyebrows at her and patting the bed beside him, as if half-expecting her to join his little merry party.

“Really?” She stared him down, hoping she managed to pull her best ‘not impressed’ face, her hand on her hip. “Not being able to relax is my problem?”

Her eyes flickered pointedly to the sofa in the corner.

Tony followed her gaze. “You’re kidding, right? This thing is, like, two feet too short for me.”

“Tony—”

“Come on! No funny business, I swear. Scout’s honor.” He added wattage to his smile.

“Have you even been a boy scout?”

“Not the point. We’ll pretend it’s a sleepover and share secrets and braid each other’s hair. I’ll even let you pain my nails… or something. We could have a pillow fight.”

There was not enough ibuprofen in the world to help her deal with the mother of all headaches pounding in her skull right now, Pepper thought.

She rubbed her temples and then fixed her eyes on Tony who was leisurely spread over the only thing in the world that made sense to her right now. That, and maybe a long hot bath. In no particular order, honestly.

“It’s been a really long day.”

There must have been something about her voice that did the trick. Tony’s grin dropped instantly and he rolled off the bed in one swift move, looking oddly antsy and out of place by the moment, which was odd and weird and not what she was normally used to, and it made her uncomfortable, too. The sudden vulnerability of the situation was unnerving.  

He cleared his throat, “Yes, it was.” And when he found it in him to finally look at her, the corner of his mouth tugged up ever so slightly, as if testing the ground. “You can have the room. I could just sleep on the plane.”

Pepper blinked, caught off guard.

“Don’t be ridiculous. No one is sleeping on the plane. I can’t send someone who signs my paychecks to sleep on the plane.”

“Well, technically, you’re signing my paychecks now.”

“Oh, that changes everything then.” She deadpanned, trying very hard not to smile. “Your jet is 10 miles to the south-east from here. Take the first exit on your left.”

Tony stuffed his hands into the pockets of his pants. “I’m guessing I’ve exceeded my jerk quota for the day,” he muttered under his breath.

“About five years ago,” she agreed.

“If you want me to leave, I’ll sleep elsewhere. It’s not a big deal.”

Pepper’s features softened and her shoulders slumped a bit. “Don’t be absurd, Tony. I just—I can’t do this right now. Any of this.”

And it was hard to tell if she didn’t want to kick him out because she cared, or because she simply didn’t want to deal with whatever he might get himself into and it was easier to keep him in her line of sight. Just to be safe. And maybe that pang in his chest and his sudden shortage of breath meant he needed to replace the palladium cartridge again, but Tony seriously doubted that was the case.

He offered her a small smile. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“You’re not on your best behavior even when you _are_ on your best behavior.”

That earned her a soft chuckle. “You’re contradicting yourself, Miss Potts.”

“I wonder where I get that from.”

Tony’ smile faltered, his face suddenly lost and uncertain. He looked like he was going to say something, but then Pepper’s phone let out a string of high-pitched shrills, breaking the moment.

“I’ve got to—“ Her glance darted from Tony to phone and back to Tony. “I’ve got to answer that.”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Sure. I’ll—um, I’ll check the bath…tub.”

Once in the bathroom that was almost as big as the master bedroom in his Malibu house and featured a gigantic Jacuzzi and a generous collection of towels, Tony locked the door and turned towards the mirror. The man staring back at him looked like a stranger, a ghost of what he used to be.

His chest tightened and his breath caught in his throat. What was he doing?

Sighing, he pulled a new palladium cartridge from the pocket of his jacket. At this rate, in a week or two, he’d have to change them every hour, and wasn’t that a fun thing to think about?

He breathed in deeply and then exhaled slowly, waiting for the new cartridge to kick in and for the black veins to start fading away. How the hell did he fuck up everything so royally? What was he doing here? What was it that he was trying to achieve? If anything, he seemed to only make everything worse. Pepper-wise, at least.

The thing was, he was scared. More scared than he’d ever been, in fact, and this generally didn’t bode well for his decision-making.

When he returned to the room, Pepper was no longer on the phone. She kicked off her killer pumps and was standing barefoot by the bedside table, taking off her earrings. Strands of hair escaped from her tight bun and were now framing her face, making her look more fragile than he was used to. Tony curled his fingers into fists to physically stop himself from tucking those wild red wisps behind her ears.

“The plane is fine,” she said spotting him, oblivious to his turmoil. “It’s ready to go whenever we are.”

“Are we ready in 10?”

“If only it was up to me.”

Tony made a restless circle around the room, ending up eventually by the balcony door. Thick forest was rolling down the slope of the mountain the hotel was wedged into and to the lake at the foot of it, still and dark like a black mirror. And the snow, oh the snow everywhere around, falling in thick flakes – a veil separating them from the rest of the world.

Technically, he still had a suit. Technically, he could fly anywhere and in any weather.

Technically, it was the very last thing he wanted to do. Weirdly enough, being away from everything that was his life made it seem a little less real. As if he wasn’t actually dying. As if all was right in the world for as long as he believed it was. Silly, but he desperately wanted to keep holding on to it.

“Tony?”

He turned around. “Huh? You said something?”

She studied him with those impossible and inquisitive eyes of hers, which made it hard to maintain the eye contact. God, he could swear she was looking right through all the bullshit and lies he piled up around himself.

“Is everything okay?”

“Coulson will kill me,” Tony responded with a straight face, and added for good measure. “I’m under house arrest. Sort of.”

“That’s hardly possible.”

“Oh, it is. Those guys from SHIELD are not joking around.”

“No, what I mean is that you can’t be under house arrest because, if memory serves me right, you only have half a house left after the last night.”

On that, she grabbed something from her suitcase and disappeared behind the bathroom door.  

Tony grimaced. This wasn’t going away anytime soon, was it?

With a sigh, he flopped down on his designated couch.

Pepper paused before the mirror over the sink, taking in the curls of hair around her face and the dark circles under her eyes that no makeup could hide anymore, until finally focusing on the eyes that looked hollow and dull for the reasons she couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Or go into, for that matter. A part of her - a greater part of her, actually – was hoping to wake up any moment now, failing to understand why it wasn’t happening.

She resisted the urge to touch the cool surface of the mirror, to make sure it was solid, that she didn’t fall through some kind of portal into the world where nothing was making any sense.

For a brief moment, her mind jumped to the fact that she was kind of stuck in a honeymoon suite, of all places, with none other than Tony, of all people, but she quickly brushed it off. This clearly wasn’t something she should ever be worried about, that much Pepper was certain of. Tony was a charmer and a tease, she had learned that much on the day she met him. Yet, he’d always seemed concerned about not jeopardizing their professional relationship, and for the most part she trusted him to behave. On top of that, he also made it quite clear he wasn’t particularly interested in her, not for real, so there you go. Which wasn’t surprising, really. She was not his type, as far as she was aware.

Pepper sighed and turned away, choosing to focus on one of the other ten thousand things crowding her mind.

For a moment, she looked longingly at the bathtub the size of a mini-pool, and had she been alone, she would most definitely spend half of the night in it, until her muscles became soft as clay. God help her, she needed it. And, let’s face it, deserved it, too.

Yet, she opted for a hot shower instead, allowing herself to stay under the almost bristling water until her skin felt flushed and the entire room was fogged with steam. Until the warmth reached her very bones, melting away the overwhelming fatigue.

When she finally emerged from the bathroom half an hour later dressed in a tank top and shorts – because she wasn’t quite expecting the company when she packed for the trip – Tony was sprawled on the couch, his feet dangling over the side. A remote in hand, he was flipping through the TV channels, barely pausing at each one of them before moving on. She wondered if it felt just as mind-numbing as it looked.

He glanced at her briefly, and then actually turned to give her a full once-over, eyebrows raised and all that.

“Nice jammies.”

Pepper didn’t dignify that with an answer.

Instead, ignoring his comment altogether, she walked over to the bed, picked up a pillow and tossed it to him (which he caught), and then another one because she honestly didn’t need all six of them, and this one hit him square in the face.

“Seriously?”

Without responding, Pepper slipped under the covers, marveling at the touch of cool sheets to her skin (and only barely registering the fact that the chocolates were gone). She let out a long breath. As it turned out, being in a horizontal position was an underrated pleasure.

“Hey, wanna watch _America’s Most Wanted_?”

“Good night, Tony.”

“No TV it is.”

He flicked it off, plunging the room into eerie deep-blue shadows. He kicked off his shoes, fluffed the pillows before stacking them on top of one another, and fell back, his eyes fixing on the ceiling.

It was so quiet. Tony couldn’t even remember the last time he couldn’t hear the cars, or at the very least a gentle lapping of the waves against the beach. And now it was like being in an open space or something. Except for Pepper’s breath. He could hear her breathing across the room, and somehow it was… good.

His life was a mess, and he was a mess, and nothing was right, and, for heaven’s sake, even his days were numbered (quite literally so), but in that moment, he somehow doubted he’d rather be anywhere else.

Well, sleep was out of question – this became very clear very fast. Pepper rolled onto her side, tucked her hand under the pillow and closed her eyes, acutely aware of the ridiculousness of the whole situation. And of Tony’s presence that she felt even from twenty feet away.

She didn’t want to deal with any of this. Didn’t have it in her to deal with any of this. God knew she’d done enough over the years balancing on the edge of the knife and making sure Stark Industries didn’t fall victim of Tony’s temper and petulant decisions. She was his therapist, his babysitter, his secretary and about a million other things she couldn’t even begin to recall, and eventually she actually started to believe that he had decency to respect her.

Granted, his behaviour the previous night wasn’t the worst she’d seen. It didn’t even make her Top 10 list, but the bad thing was that she knew something was wrong. Something big, and it was making her scared. It was making her want to be able to turn off her mind and fall asleep for a year.

She squeezed her eyes shut and willed herself to stop thinking.

Which lasted for about five seconds at most because across the room from her, Tony was twisting and turning, trying to get more comfortable on the couch with the cushions sliding from underneath his body with every move. He fluffed the pillows again, then tossed one to the floor in frustration, sighed, and finally settled. For a minute or so. And then it started all over again. He grunted under his breath and rolled onto his back, letting out a long exasperated sigh in the process.

And this was just as much as Pepper could handle it.

She propped herself up on her elbows. “Are you going to stop that anytime soon?”

“This thing is impossible,” he grumbled. “It’s a torture device and should be labeled accordingly.”

Pepper rubbed the corners of her eyes. “Okay, fine. Let’s switch.” She didn’t care about sleeping on the couch so long as sleep was at least an option. Which right now it definitely was not.

“What?” Tony gripped the back of the couch and pulled himself up to look at her over his shoulder (as best he could, given the lack of proper lighting).

“You wanted the bed? You can have the bed.” She tossed the blanket off. “That way at least one of us will have some rest.”

“Oh, please!” He fell back on the cushions. “We’re not switching. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“ _I_ am being ridiculous?”

Tony didn’t move however, and after a few moments she pulled the blankets back.

He didn’t stay quiet for long afterwards though – just long enough for Pepper to take in the fact that they had never been in this kind of situation before. Ironically.

“Pepper?” He called out just as she decided to start counting sheep, for lack of better entertainment. “Can I ask you something?”

“Would it change anything if I said no?”

Hardly.

“On the scale of one to… strawberries, how much do you hate me?”

It wasn’t the question that caught her off guard so much as the tone of his voice – world-weary and hollow. The voice of someone carrying the weight of the universe on his shoulders.

The exact same voice she heard that day in the workshop when he asked her to go fetch the information proving Obadiah’s betrayal. The voice of a man that was lonely, lost, desperate. There’d only been a handful of times she heard this voice, and it always felt like driving off a cliff – technically, she knew that it was bad news, but once you were in the air, there was nothing you could do about it, right? No control, no going back.

Her chest tightened, and her fingers closed around fistfuls of sheets of the will of their own. Hearing him sound so uncharacteristically un-Tony was unnerving and scary. Like he wasn’t the man she thought she knew at all. Flippant and arrogant she could deal with. This? Not so much.

“I don’t hate strawberries. I’m allergic to them.”

“This isn’t exactly an answer.”

“You didn’t exactly ask a question. What you asked made no sense.”

“You know exactly what I meant, Pepper. Although, admittedly, I should’ve chosen something more painful. Like press conferences or something like that.”

Pepper sucked in a sharp breath, staring at the ceiling for about forever. Ten years. She’d been working with Tony Stark for ten years, and yet this was the weirdest conversation they’d ever had. Go figure…

“I don’t hate you, Tony.” She replied at last in a voice that was only barely above whisper. “I just don’t understand what’s going on with you.” In the silence that fell around them, he pretty much stopped breathing as he waited for her to continue. “We almost kiss, and then you leave me all alone on that roof and act like nothing happened. Not that something did because… because it obviously wasn’t--anything.” _Babbling. You’re babbling._ She swallowed. “You make me the CEO of your company, and then try to kill yourself at this race—”

“That really wasn’t the idea.”

“—and I know that something’s not okay, but you wouldn’t tell me what it is, and it never happened before.” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “Not like this, and I just… I don’t know what to make of any of this. And you act like… like you don’t give a damn about anything.”

Tony stayed quiet for a very long time, making her wonder if maybe he’d fallen asleep sometime in the midst of her speech. She wouldn’t put it past him, to be honest. Not exactly.

Which kind of made her feel even more stupid, even though she thought she’d already hit the rock bottom with this whole tirade. Because it was ridiculous, on every level. It wasn’t like she actually took him on his offer to have deep conversations, and just because they were out of their… element, so to speak, didn’t mean that the things actually changed. She wasn’t even sure she wanted them to change. Wasn’t sure she was ready for them to change. Even hypothetically speaking.

Weirdly enough, it turned out embarrassment didn’t exactly have limits. Not that it was something she actually want to find out for herself. And yet, there she was…

“You’ve done so much for me over the years.” Tony said when she’d already lost hope for any kind of response. “For me, and for the company, but especially for me. And I’m really grateful for it. I’m bad at showing it, but I really am.” A pause. “You’re my best friend, Pepper. You know that, right?”

It made her chuckle ruefully. “So, this is what we are? Friends?”

“Well, you made it perfectly clear—”

“Oh, so it’s my fault?”

The sound he made then was like he’d actually chocked on whatever he was going to say next.

“It’s not… a fault. It’s like you said… bad timing.” He sat abruptly and reached for his jacket. “You know, there’s a probably a bar downstairs that works on the clock.”

The short laugh that escaped Pepper’s lips was bitter and humorless. “Sure, it’s what we all need.”

He whipped his head around, trying to make the outline of her body in the dark. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She didn’t quite know how it happened exactly, but suddenly they were in the middle of the room in front of each other, nostrils flaring and eyes glaring – Pepper’s with fury and Tony’s with righteous indignation. Brows furrowed and fists clenched, the whole shebang.

“Only that it’s your answer to everything! And I can’t—I can’t deal with it anymore. So yes, by all means, go get drunk, set something on fire – I am not going to get in your way because I can’t babysit you for the rest of your life.” She took in a shaky breath. “I’m not—we’re not—”

“We are not what?”

“Nothing. We’re not anything, Tony.”

His eyes wandered around her face in the dark. “Right.” He swallowed. “It’s better that way.”

“It is,” Pepper heard herself say, although she wasn’t even sure she was following the conversation anymore. She wasn’t even sure she still remembered how to breathe, to begin with. Not when his face was inches away from hers.

“I’m sorry for the… last night. And for putting you in this position. It was selfish and irresponsible and… I’m sorry. I didn’t have any right to drag you in any of this. Or to come here.” His voice dropped to a whisper.

“It’s okay,” she muttered.

“I think I should probably go find that bar.”

“You probably should.”

“You’d—you’d sleep better with me… gone.”

“Probably,” she agreed, not sure what she was agreeing with, exactly. “You were going…”

“I was. I am.”

Pepper was about to step back (because how the hell did he get so close?), but then Tony’s hands were on her wrists, his skin burning hot against hers, and his lips were on hers, and it was all she could think about with her heart racing a thousand miles per second. He tasted like need and fear, and all the desperation in the world, and she was suddenly dizzy and lightheaded, and what were they talking about, anyway?

Tony let go of her hands to wrap his arms around her, and Pepper used this chance to rake her fingers through his hair, which felt soft and silky against her skin. She rose on her tiptoes, pressing herself closer to him, feeling his muscles against her body. She wondered distractedly if he could hear her insane heartbeat, the rush of her blood because he sure couldn’t have missed it.

He pulled back a while later – a long while later, for that matter – breathless and gasping for air like someone who just spent an eternity underwater. He brushed his lips against her forehead and down her temple.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” he murmured against her skin, his fingers pushing through her hair, framing her face.

Pepper rubbed her nose against his cheek, her eyes fluttering closed. “You’re such an idiot,” she whispered with exasperation.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

And then his mouth was on hers again, and his hands were running through her hair and down her arms, sending sparks through her body and setting her skin on fire. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something good happens. And then it all goes down in frames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm, mature content warning, I guess? Nothing too explicit, but still. 
> 
> I kept the first part of the chapter in the present tense and rest of it in the past on purpose - it was easier to write that way, for some reason. IDK, ask the plot bunnies.

_I die each time you look away_  
_My heart, my life will never be the same_  
 _This love will take my everything_  
 _One breath, one touch will be the end of me_  
“Love Song Requiem” by Trading Yesterday

* * *

 

Pepper gasps quietly when Tony trails his lips along her jawline to the tender spot behind her ear, her eyes flutter closed and her hands hold on to the fistfuls of his shirt.

 _I had a dream like this once, too_ , she thinks, but then his hands slip underneath her tank top, and she can’t breathe, doesn’t know how to think, and the room is spinning around her. His mouth finds hers again and she needs to hold on to him because she feels weak in her knees.  

Pepper’s fingers work on the buttons of his shirt, pushing it down his shoulders with intense urgency. And the moment it takes Tony to pull his undershirt off is too long, almost unbearable. The longest half a second of a no skin-on-skin contact, and then Pepper is running her hands down his chest, slowly tracing the scars, feeling him tremble under her touch. His breath hitches in his throat, and the sound knocks the air out of her own lungs. There is a bruise on his ribs, from the fight with Rhodey last night perhaps, and a much less noticeable on his cheekbone (why didn’t she notice it before?). He’s like a map she can’t wait to read. His skin is hot and soft and so alive, and it’s almost too much, and not enough. She feels selfish because she wants it all, now, at this very instant, and yet she wants it to last forever.

Tony leaves a wet trail on her skin, kissing his way along her cheek and down her neck, his breathing is short and fast and gasping. His hands find the hem of her top and pull it up, and up, and then they’re moving, although Pepper doesn’t know they are until her shins meet the edge of the bed, and she almost falls, but he keeps her standing somehow, keeping their balance (just barely) as her fingers dig into his shoulders.

“Pepper,” he starts, and his voice is low and hoarse, and there’s something about the way he says her name that makes her shiver head to toe. She runs her finger down his lips silencing him (lest he says something… something that needn’t be said now), searching his face. His eyes are huge and black, and she’s falling, and wants to keep on falling for as long as she’s alive.

And then she’s kissing him again, and his hands are pushing through her hair, and down her neck, and down…. She bites his lower lip, and he growls in the back of his throat, and it’s nothing like what she imagined (not that she have because…. because). It’s so much _more_.

He pushes her down gently, and she trusts him not to topple them both to the floor. Not that it matters. Not that she’d care one bit.

Somehow, along the way, they lose the remaining pieces of clothing, and then he’s hovering over her, and her stomach is heavy, and her chest is so full of things she can’t even begin to understand that Pepper wants so desperately to start running.

She doesn’t.

She pushes his hair back from his forehead, and Tony turns his head to kiss her palm, the inside of her wrist, along her inner arm, and she thinks she’s going to go insane. Or melt right through the sheets. Her eyes flutter shut and a soft sigh escapes her lips. She needs a moment to regain her composure, and she also needs to not stop feeling his skin on hers, and so she pulls him closer, and closer, and then his hand runs down the side of her body and towards her hip, and Pepper gasps when he fills her. Her fingers close tightly around his hand laced with hers, nails digging into his skin, leaving red half-moon marks. Tony catches her sigh with his mouth, and she can still taste a trace of alcohol under the layers that are just _Tony_.

He pauses for a moment then to look at her face, to take it in, to try and etch it in his memory forever. His hips start moving, they find their rhythm, and everything is simple, and it feels right, and it’s so easy to forget the past, and all the reasons Pepper ever had for not letting it happen before. It means nothing now. Not when Tony is touching her the way he does, his hands are suddenly all over her body as if he has a hundred of them. And his lips-- Not when her entire world explodes. Moments, or minutes, or infinity later, he goes still as well, his face pressed against her neck, his hot breath tickling her skin.

“Why did it take us so long to get here?” Tony asks in a barely audible whisper, and Pepper can feel him smile as he trails his lips along her skin.

 _You know why_ , she thinks but doesn’t say anything, choosing to marvel under the weight of his body, waiting for her heartbeat to slow down, for her breathing to stop feeling like there is no oxygen left in the world.

He rolls them both over, tucking Pepper into his side. Pushes her sweat-drenched hair out of her face and kisses her on the forehead as he holds her so tight she can barely inhale, and she wouldn’t want to have it any other way. Why indeed, she wonders feeling drowsy and mellow and more relaxed than she’s felt in forever. Her hand falls on his chest, right over the arc reactor, and even with her eyes closed, she can _feel_ it glow, can feel it keeping him alive. Her forehead rests on his collarbone as Tony pulls the sheets over them, and she wills the moment to last until the end of time.

\--

It was almost dawn when Tony woke up, feeling, ironically, more alive than he had in the longest time. Truth be told, he couldn’t even recall the last time his mind was so at peace, leave alone the last time he actually managed to catch more than an hour of sleep. The reason he woke up at all was, perhaps, the lack of warmth by his side he knew should’ve been there, even in his slumber aware of this particular detail.

He reached blindly for Pepper, groping her side of the bed, and then opened his eyes, blinking sleepily when it became clear that the bed was empty.

“Pepper?” His voice was hoarse and groggy from sleep, and for a moment or two the panic overwhelmed him, making him wonder if maybe everything that happened a few hours ago was nothing but a dream, and the very idea was beyond terrifying.

It woke him up in a heartbeat, his eyes snapping open. He rolled over, nearly toppling off the bed, his heart racing.

And then he sighed with relief, slumping back on the pillows in relief when he spotted Pepper standing by the balcony door. Dressed in his shirt that went just past her hips, with her arms folded over her chest, she was looking outside into the night. Or morning, really.

Tony ran his hand down his face, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, his heartbeat finally getting back to normal. Somewhat.

“Pep?” He called out a bit louder, stifling a yawn. She didn’t turn but he knew she heard him. “Everything okay?”

In the dark, he could only see the outline of her profile, a slightly paler spot against the shadows, but in this moment, he could swear the corners of her mouth tugged up ever so slightly.

“It’s still snowing,” she responded a few moments later, her voice low and soft. “We don’t get to see much of this in California.”

“We need to get out more,” Tony offered without hesitation.

Pepper glanced over at him. “Out of California?”

He shrugged. “For starters.”

He scooched over and then, when Pepper approached, caught her by the sleeve of the shirt and tugged her down until she was sitting beside him on the bed. God, she was beautiful. So beautiful it hurt.

“We could go to Aspen. Or to Switzerland. You’d like the Alps.” Tony pondered thoughtfully, his thumb tracing slow circles on the back of her hand. “I heard they have all the snow in the world over there. The Italy offer still stands, too, you know. You love Italy.”

She scoffed. “Yeah, I have very fond memories of bailing you out of the Italian jail for indecent exposure. The time of my life.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“Are you even allowed to return there?”

“We could… figure something out.”

She shook her head hopelessly. “I bet we could.” A pause. “Tony, whatever happened tonight—whatever it was—”

“Something good.” Tony sat up, their eyes on the same level now. His gaze wandered around her features, illuminated mostly by the light coming from the arc reactor. “And it is going to happen again. And again. And… you get the idea.”

Pepper arched an eyebrow, trying to keep her face as straight as she could.

“Is that so?”

Tony traced the hem of his shirt from her collarbone and down to the first button. “That’s a nice look on you, Miss Potts. You think we could make some changes to our dress code policy?”

“The Board of Directors would have a collective heart attack if you bright it up,” she pointed out.

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a ‘I would love to be there when you mention it’.”

“Should I also mention not actually having to sleep on the couch after all?”

“Oh, so this is what it was all about?”

“Among other things,” Tony nodded, his voice nonchalant.

“Now you’re just purposely trying to be a jerk.”

“Purposely trying? Please! It’s an inborn talent. You can’t just make something like that up.”

Pepper rolled her eyes and started pulling away, but Tony got her by the wrist, his other hand buried in her hair cupping the back of her head. And the next thing she knew was he was kissing her with that marvelous mouth of his, a delicate brush of his lips against her at first that deepened when she made no attempt to resist. Her hand closed around his wrist, and there was something exhilarating about feeling his pulse under her fingers.

He pulled back and planted a small kiss on her cheekbone before resting his forehead against hers, his fingers still tangled in her hair.

“Pep, I know I messed up.”

“Yes, you did.”

“And the timing _is_ bad.” His lips formed into a humorless smile. It was hard to read her face like that, but it felt good – she felt good – and he hated even the idea of putting any distance between them. “But we’ll figure it out. We always do.”

Kind of. Except when she wanted to kill him, like, a million times, but he knew better than to bring it up.

“I don’t want to leave,” Tony murmured, his breath brushing her skin. “Do you think we could stay? It’s… nice. We have a honeymoon suite all to ourselves. And have you _seen_ that bathtub?”

Pepper ran her finger down his cheek. “Haven’t we covered that already?”

He was about to pretest when her phone started ringing, startling them both.

Pepper was the first to recover, although not without a low groan because _come on!_ She reach for it.

“Now? Really?” Tony attempted to grab it before she did.

“It could be work,” she pointed out.

“When isn’t it?”

“Well, I’m sorry for trying to save whatever’s left of your company, Tony.”

He hemmed, still not convinced. The failed attempt to interject her phone call didn’t stop him from looping his arm around her waist and pulling her close, burying his face in her hair.  

“Who would call you at 5 in the morning, by the way?”

“Agent Coulson,” Pepper said into the phone as a matter of greeting.

“I’ll kill him,” Tony mumbled into her neck, almost certainly meaning it as she focused her attention on the call.

“As a matter of fact, yes, I do know where Mr. Stark is,” she continued meanwhile, craning her neck to look over at him. “No, I’m sorry, I did not know that.” She paused, listening, and Tony strained to hear the other side of the conversation (without much success). Pepper turned then as much as she could without slipping out of his grasp. “He did _what_?” Her eyebrows shot all the way up to her hairline.

“What?” He whispered.

“And that too, huh?” She was eying him with equal parts of disbelief and _Why am I not surprised?_

“ _He_ is right here,” Tony mouthed.

“No, it does sound like him,” Pepper admitted to Coulson. “Unfortunately.”

“What?” He tried leaning closer, but she swatted him off.

“Look, we’re in a bit of a situation here--” she continued.

“Oh, is that what they call it these days?” Tony snickered.

“—but I promise to personally bring him back as soon as I can.” A pause. “It’s no problem it all. Thank you for your call, Agent Coulson.”

“ _Thank you for your call_ ,” Tony mimicked as soon as she hung up. “Does he call you a lot?”

“Would you like to update me on what’s going on with you and SHIELD?” Pepper asked instead, disregarding his petulant pout.

He winced a little. “It’s kind of a long story.”

He took the phone from her hand and stuffed it between the pillows – as far away from Pepper’s reach as possible, should someone try to contact her again. They had wasted enough time already to deal with any more interruptions.

“I’m all ears,” Pepper prompted him.

“Thank God you’re not.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Come to think of it, it’s kind of a disturbing image, and I’m really glad we’re speaking hypothetically, and--”

She smacked him halfheartedly on the shoulder. “I’m serious.”

Tony’s hand rested atop of hers lying on his chest.  He planted a small kiss on her temple, breathing in the scent of her hair, her skin, trying oh so hard not to think about tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that. Trying not to hear his clock ticking, his time running out faster than he ever thought it could.

Only a few months ago, none of this mattered. A few months ago, he’d go down in a blaze of glory without looking back. He’d do something big and stupid and most definitely legendary, and step into the abyss with a smile and a mile-long list of regrets he’d choose to ignore because there were too many of them to ponder. He’d lived like that his whole life and it was fine, and it was okay. It felt right somehow. He’d made his peace with the whole thing, and what could be worse than dying of an old age anyway?

But now… now he was scared. More scared than he’d ever been. More scared than when he thought he’d die in that godforsaken cave in Afghanistan, buried under the rocks. Hell, it almost felt like a trip to Disneyland right now.

Funny how there actually were perks to living a life in which he had nothing to lose.

“Tony—”

“You know, I was thinking…”

“Oh, no. It’s usually not a good sign.”

He let out a short laugh. “And you’re calling me an ass?”

“When did I ever call you an ass?”

“Maybe not to my face.”

Pepper smiled. “Touché.” She trailed her hand down his chest, running her fingers along the edge of the reactor, and then paused, her brows drawing together, her forehead creased. She froze, and Tony knew instantly – way before his mind even registered the changes in her – that something was terribly, awfully wrong.

He looked down to see the intricate pattern of black veins spreading from the arc reactor like some kind of elaborate spider web. _Shit! Shit, shit, shit!_ How many hours had it been? About seven? Eight maybe. He’d totally forgot about it, about the goddamned cartridges.

What did Rhodey call it? A high-tech crossword puzzle. It sounded oddly appropriate. Under any other circumstances, he’d probably like to have a good laugh about it.

“What is this?” Her voice was small and confused and a tad too worried for his taste.

Tony grimaced. “You know, funny story…”

\--

She’d yelled at him. She had actually yelled at him. Louder than Tony ever imagined she was capable of.

Sure, Pepper had been angry with him before. Angry, annoyed, frustrated, mad – you name it. Sometimes all at the same time, and never ever without a reason. Just because he was her boss never stopped her from voicing her opinion about his screw-ups, usually quite colorfully, although at times a subtle sigh spoke volumes.

That being said, try as he might, Tony could not remember her ever being that kind of furious. He sure hadn’t heard her voice rattling the windows. It would’ve been fascinating had it not been directed at him.

All of this happened a few hours ago.

Now they were on the plane, heading to New York, and Tony was pretty certain she hadn’t said a word to him ever since they left the hotel. She was sitting in the back row staring out the small window at the white blanket of clouds beneath them instead. It was making him edgy. And endlessly guilty. Not to mention the fact that the silence was so pressing he almost convinced himself he’d gone deaf.

He’d really screwed up this time.

And now it was driving him insane. And the fucking SILENCE! God, he’d rather she kept yelling at him.

Finally, Tony took a seat next to her – there were only so many time he could walk up and down the aisle with no avail. On the bright side, there were also certain advantages to being stuck in a small enclosed space. It wasn’t like she could jump out of the plane. Beside, he knew where the parachutes were.

Pepper didn’t move. Didn’t so much as acknowledge his presence, save for the slight stiffness of her posture, which could’ve been more instinctual than conscious, and for a moment Tone thought of fleeing… to the kitchen. His choices were quite limited at this point.

“Pep,” he started quietly after a little while – when it became apparent that she wasn’t going to, cautious and wary. It wasn’t like he actually expected her to start throwing things at him, but he also wouldn’t be entirely surprised if she went for it. Wouldn’t blame her for it either.

She didn’t respond at once. In fact, she kept quiet for so long he started thinking she didn’t hear him in the first place. Wasn’t even sure he spoke at all, for that matter. Also, she did have every right to ignore him, except Tony had no idea how to deal with it because… because it never was that bad before. She’d be pissed, and he’d apologize profusely, or shoot her his cheekiest smile, and she’s roll her eyes, and sigh, and they’d forget about the issue entirely.

Now though…. It was a whole new level of fucked up.

And then, when Tony least expected it—

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

She was still looking out the window, making it impossible to read her face, her voice not flat exactly, but kind of expressionless.

Oddly enough, the question never came up during her impressive tirade back at the hotel, which was why it caught him by surprise. Somewhat. In a way. Although he wasn’t sure whether it was the question or the tone of her voice that bothered him more.

“I didn’t know how,” he replied honestly, his own voice strained and forced.

The short laugh that escaped her mouth was bitter and utterly humorless.

“With words, Tony. You, of all people, should know that. Considering you’ve told everyone else.”

“Not everyone, just Rhodey and—” He cut off and cleared his throat. “That’s not the point.” A pause. And then softer, “You were the only person that mattered. I didn’t know how to tell you because—and I’m not trying to find any excuses—”

“It sounds like you are, actually.”

“No, I mean… what I’m trying to say—I didn’t tell you anything because I hoped—I hoped I wouldn’t have to.” His mouth twitched a little. He stared at his hands clasped tightly on his lap.

“I asked you. I _knew_ that something was wrong, and I asked you about it and you _lied_ to me. You lied to my face and then you just kept…” She pursed her lips.

“I swear to God I was going to tell you.”

“When it was too late.”

Why wouldn’t she look at him?

“No. Maybe. I don’t know.” It didn’t come out the way he planned. “I thought I’d fix it all and there’d be nothing to tell about.” Yes, definitely not as good as in his head.

“Can you?”

She sounded closer somehow, clearer, and when Tony lifted his gaze, he saw that Pepper finally turned away from the oh so exciting clouds and was now watching him, her face more guarded than he could remember, and it felt like a sucker punch. He’d done it again. Perfect.

“I’ll think of something,” he shrugged as if it was nothing. As if he couldn’t literally drop dead any moment now. As if it didn’t matter. “I always do.”

She could see right through it, and he knew it, but it was the familiar dance, and he didn’t know what else to do.

“Oh God, Tony,” Pepper shook her head with exasperation.

And the next thing he knew she was leaning into him, her face tucked into the crook of his neck and her shoulders shaking ever so slightly. The flutter of her eyelashes was burning his skin with the wetness they were leaving.

There was an armrest wedged rather uncomfortably between the two of them, kind of taking the whole situation to a new level of uncomfortable.

Tony shifted to pull it up, and then his arm went around her, holding her close.

“Pep, come on,” he whispered into her hair, pressing his lips to the top of her head as he died slowly on the inside at the sound of her quiet sobs that still somehow felt too big for her body. “I’m sorry. About… everything. I really am.”

She felt warm, and small, and broken in his arms, and she smelled of lemons and that floral perfume that had been driving him crazy for almost a decade now. And if he knew anything at all, he knew he never wanted to make her cry again.

Not that it was something he could stop at will right now.

“Pep,” he repeated as her hand fell on his chest, closing around the lapel of his jacket and holding on for dear life. “Hey, I’m sorry. Pepper—”

He stroked her hair, tucking loose strands behind her ear. Her breathing was evening out, although it was still coming in small, ragged gasps.

“Would it help if you yelled at me some more?” Tony asked.

“Probably not.” She murmured after considering it for a moment or two. “Would it change anything?”

A ghost of a smile touched his lips. “Probably not,” he echoed, willing the time to slow down.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to end, not at all. This wasn’t supposed to end, period. He was supposed to live forever.

“Tony,” she whispered, her breath grazing the skin of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” he kept saying over and over again as his hand closed over hers lying on his chest.

Pepper was weeping again, silently, her frame almost still, save for the occasional intake of breath.

“I’m sorry.”

Although whether he was talking about lying to her, holding all of this back, or for having her find out the truth the way she did he wasn’t sure.

Definitely for the fact that, given the chance, he wouldn’t do it any differently. It made him feel even worse but the truth was that had there been a way to take away all the pain he’d caused her, he would do it in a heartbeat, whatever the cost.

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to be a one-shot, and then it kind of expanded, but in my mind it ends the way the film does - sort of. Tony finds a way to fix himself, except he and Pepper are already an item by the time the final show-down happens.


End file.
